Secret Lives


closed doors

Secrets. We all have them.

For more than a decade, Rick lived with a terrible secret: He was married to a drug-addicted alcoholic who abused him and his son.

There were drunken attempts to kill his son, fights where Rick called the police for protection, illegal drug transactions, and many nights where he and his son lived with his parents. There was verbal, financial, and physical abuse toward Rick and his wife told him to chose between keeping his job or seeing his family.

His wife had multiple sexual affairs which ended in court, and he was told by his church leaders that if she caused any more problems Rick would lose his job as a pastor. So he kept the secret … his reputation and job depended on it.

She used gossip and the threat of more gossip to force his silence. People, even Christian people, tend to be meddlers. They hear a splinter of gossip and think they know exactly what’s happening and what everyone else needs to do. They often mean well, but meaning well and doing well are two different things; other times, they are simply “mean.” Because few people know what hides behind closed doors, meddling does more damage than healing.

One man told Rick he needed to be more like a Christian husband or father. A clergywoman in his own church blamed him for his wife’s problems which existed long before Rick and she were married. He was told that no matter how bad it was, he had to remain married. Then came the day when he was fired publicly for his wife’s deeds – while she went on to live without consequence.

The secrets of our hearts are openly known to God. He’s aware of every deep wound and threat that scars our lives. His intention is never to do damage, but desires to bring wholeness and growth in His people. He’s promised to make all things right one day and will enact vengeance and justice toward every wrong. He showers His people in love even in the darkest nights of life.

Dear reader, in the midst of your silent heartache, remember God’s love.

God’s love was manifested toward us when He sent His only and unique Son into the world so that we might live through Him (First John 4:9).

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2 thoughts on “Secret Lives

  1. Gene Horton

    I remember “Rick” in my prayers and hope he and his son are doing well. Keep the faith, you are blessing many people and it shall not go unrewarded.

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