Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance (Psalm 42:5).
For six months after a serious car accident at the end of 2006, I suffered from varying degrees of memory loss and vertigo. Vertigo is the constant feeling of being dizzy, creating the sensation that things are moving when they are not.
People suffer from a variety of needs: relational, emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual. Sometimes the intensity of these needs causes a definite feeling of mental and emotional vertigo. They are overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness, criticism, anger, and vulnerability. Sometimes the cause is unclear, but we know something is out of whack!
When we feel overwhelmed we generally look for the cause outside of ourselves. Someone did something – or didn’t do something, a sticky situation raises disquiet within us. We point fingers of fault at others as the cause for the vertigo within us.
David’s words in Psalm 139:23-24 point in a different direction. Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
The psalmist knew the queasiness of his heart and mind were of his own causing.
The next time you sense the world spinning around within you, don’t start looking for others or circumstances to blame – the root may well be internal: discontent, a critical attitude, ungratefulness, self-pity, worry, etc, in other words, what David called the wicked way in me.
Be brutally transparent and honest before the Lord. Tell Him how you feel and then ask Him to search and test your heart. It’s then possible to repent and the Great Physician will reset your bearings and return balance to your heart, your mind, and to your soul.