I have married friends who have been in a state of war for months. The husband is so angry he can’t see anything but his rage. I spoke to him privately, but he was so furious and unreasonable he couldn’t even look at me. He has an all consuming ire that has made it uncomfortable to visit the restaurant he and his wife own.
The wife just smiles and shakes her head. She’s given up.
When people see only red, no matter what you say or do, no matter what happens around them, their anger is in control.
I’ve been in a situation with a continually angry person. The anger resulted in drug and alcohol addictions, sexual affairs, arrests and jail terms, attempted murder, broken promises, lies and violent arguments. It destroyed everything the person touched.
God tells us in the Bible, “Be angry and do not sin”; do not let the sun go down on your wrath (Ephesians 4:26). Unjustified anger is a problem when it controls your actions, motives, and thoughts. Never let your feelings lead to greater sin. Sin has no place in the life of a Christian.
Don’t allow angry feelings fester or explode. Defuse them immediately by:
(1) Remembering that God, not you, is in control of all things, including the things we blame for our anger. God never tempts us to sin.
(2) Refusing to blame others or circumstances for your feelings, but humbly accepting your feelings as your own personal issue. Unrighteous anger is all about you.
(3) Repenting of your unjustified anger. Repentance is recognizing what God says about yourself, agreeing with Him, and turning from the sin back toward Him.
(4) Returning your thoughts to God’s Word. Think about what He says in the Scriptures about your situation and how you should respond as a child of God.
(5) Restoring the focus of your anger by forgiveness. Forgiveness is an evidence of love, and it’s very difficult to be angry with someone you love deeply. Forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring a problem or circumstance, but reflecting love upon the one you were angry toward.
An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression. A man’s pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor (Proverbs 29:22-23).